Sunday, June 28, 2009

Countdown to Homelessness...Day 3

BREATHE, dummy!

Still in the limbo period of nothing to report. Can't spend too much time on the computer since the real world is having temper tantrums outside and I've got to go give it a spanking.

But I will take a moment...breathe...exhale...

Exhale....that's one of the things I forget to do. I learned in the pain clinic that the universal reaction to any kind of pain is to hold your breath. It's also the worst thing you can do... (Duh...any woman who's ever been through labor knows that... but it's the first thing I forget!)

So! Note to self:

Shift down to sloooo ...remember... Mañana ... EEKS! Mañana?!! OMG! Tomorrow is...!! OK, forget Mañana...picture a tropic island and you're floating on the gentle waves... Now, you're talking... BREATHE, dummy! Oh yea...

Just thought I'd give you a glimpse at my inner dialogue.

I have received some emails from the friends and family list, trickling in and I'm beginning to understand why I haven't heard from people... Everyone one is hurting. People who I've always assumed are stable and immune to these kinds of things...are struggling. Or if not themselves, they are trying to keep their own family afloat...

But it means so much to hear that. I know they don't want to burden me now with their problems, but silence is the one thing that hurts the most—it leaves too much room for my devils...

Last summer, when I was losing my house (—it's a long drawn out process) I really wanted to talk to my little brother. I called and called and he never returned my calls. I felt so abandoned. Then—this winter, he finally sent me an email...and in a few words told me he'd lost everything (including, he said, my family's respect...)
and I suddenly realized why he hadn't returned my calls. Like me, he assumed that I was doing all right and he was ashamed to say that he wasn't. We were both so relieved to know that we weren't the only ones. (Does it sound weird? That we felt relief in the knowledge that the other was also suffering? If it does, than you are a robot!) Shame can be so isolating...

Got to go. The day is screeching for me and I better go tell it to BREATHE, dummy!

Copyright ©2009 Stephanie Ericsson All Rights Reserved.


  1. Stephanie,

    Since you're asking for help, I'm giving you some in the form of advice. Go out and get a job, any job and when you find one, work hard. Make this your mission; knock on 20-30 doors per day until you find a job. If you work at $6 per hour for 40 hours per week and you will have $1000 per month.

    "The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm" - Swedish Proverb.

    “Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” - Sun Tzu

  2. Dear Anonymous,
    Thank you for the suggestion. It was something that never occurred to me... where do you live? Perhaps I can knock on your door?

  3. It amazes me how many people believe that it is soooo easy to just go out and get a job... Apparently, "Anonymous" hasn't read the headlines recently.

    This nation is hemorraging jobs by the hundreds of thousands each month; unemployement is at a 25 year high - and "Anonymous" (in their complete lack of understanding reality) believes that if you went out and worked full time at $6/hr. you'd wind up with $1000 at the end of each month.

    Perhaps "Anonymous" has never heard of something called Income Tax.

    Unfortunately, a vast number of Americans have this same attitude when it comes to this nation's homeless and those who face the potential of homelessness. Their pathetic solutions are a variations on the same theme: Get a job, you bum!

    It is a sad and narrow view of reality.

    The reality is this: Homelessness Can Afflict Anyone.

    Perhaps "Anonymous" - and those who have similar viewpoints - shouldn't be so quick to speak or judge... they could conceivably be the next victims of homelessness.


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