Saturday, July 11, 2009

It’s Time You Knew...

The seeds of compassion and love

Moving day...

Oh, to have the stamina of a 16 year old boy!

My son, Henry and his friend, Cain, have been packing and boxing for days and yesterday, they moved all those boxes & furniture. Michael, a good friend of Henry's since first grade, also showed up to help. Wow. I'm so impressed...

For the life of me, I cannot understand why anyone would volunteer to do this thankless and backbreaking work... We do it because we have no choice—it's got to be done. But, personally? I'd have to love someone to the moon! to show up on their moving day!

Yet, Cain's been here for a week, cheerfully packing boxes. Yet, Michael not only showed up, he brought a friend who worked as hard as if we were his own family.

In our last move, I was so devastated from losing my house that I was shamefully unprepared when the moving van arrived. Michael's mother, Debbie, showed up and helped. I could not have accomplished that move without her. This is love. Love is an action, not a feeling. Anyone just meeting me that day would not have felt much love for me, I'm sure. It helps that we've known each other for years through our kids—we both have children the same age so we've become friends through the years of schlepping and chauffeuring, but there's more to it than that. I doubt that Debbie helps everyone she's known for years. She's discerning and doesn't waste her time. Perhaps it's that quality about her than made me appreciate her help even more.

My landlord, Ben, has been so generous and understanding. He remembers growing up poor during the Depression so he comes from experience. He doesn't shy away from emotional pain either. He insists on asking the difficult question that most people don't want to ask: Where will you be staying tomorrow night? People don't want to ask that question because they don't want to know the answer. But I don't think it's because they don't care—actually, I think it's because they do care and can't handle the feelings of being helpless.

I so understand. I don't know anyone who has it easy these days. Everyone has their problems–that's simply normal life. Life is about solving problems. However, these days, those problems are compounded by the state of our economy. People like Ben, Debbie, George, Cain, Michael and my own son, Henry, realize that we're not going to get through this if we try to do it all alone. We've got to join together—give what we have to give, and stay connected.

Those connections are vital to me, personally. They give me the strength to face another day, even after previous days have been brutal. They reconfigure my attitude so I can accept reality without believing that it's my fate. Or that I deserve to lose my home.

After all, the economy didn't collapse for the sole reason to punish me for my sins. It didn't just happen to me. It wasn't personal.

But my personal connections will help me survive this and become better for it.

I'm watching the effect it has on my son, as painful as it is. He seems to be re-sorting his values. Suffering now doesn't mean 'not going to the mall' or not having the latest techno-gadget that 'everyone else' has. Suffering means something real. It means being hungry. It means not having a roof over your head. It means not having the money to cover the basic, fundamental necessities of life.

Now, he can't be threatened with the loss of material things. He knows that 'things' come and go, and most of them are not really necessary. Can he live without his snowboard? Yep. Without his stereo? Yep. Without vacations? Yep. Without love? Nope. Would he rather have these material things but live without love and respect? No. He'd rather be without these things and have love and respect. We're a family. If one of us suffers, we don't have to do it alone. It's the sharing that makes it survivable.

With suffering comes compassion. With compassion comes humanity. With humanity, we will save the world.


Copyright ©2009 Stephanie Ericsson All Rights Reserved

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